


Self Insert Ultimis Nikolai One-Shots!

by QuestionedTurkey



Category: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Self Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:47:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27346081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuestionedTurkey/pseuds/QuestionedTurkey
Summary: just a place where I can write out my feelings about Ultimis Nikolai and have them all together in one place! This story is honestly just for my own enjoyment but if anyone else likes what they read then thats cool too!This story could potentially include NSFW down the line so minors DNI please!!
Relationships: Nikolai Belinski/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 3





	1. Sobriety

Nikolai was out of vodka.

This was something that we all knew would happen eventually, but we had never even begun to know what to expect when that day finally came. 

Would he snap and erupt into a fit of rage? Would he hurt someone? Would he do something to himself?

As someone who’s spent most of my time by his side for the better part of the past six months, even I had no idea what to expect. 

Nikolai seemed like an open book to the people not paying too much attention, which most people didn’t, admittedly. He would boast loudly about his several wives, most of which he claimed to have murdered. He would laugh and yell with a huge smile on his face and recount stories from his youth and all of the crazy shenanigans he and his buddies had gotten themselves into. He oozed confidence and self assurance, never once stopping for a moment other than to sleep. He could brighten the darkest rooms in the theatre just by stepping into them. Nikolai Belinski in the half a year that I had known him, was no doubt a force of nature. A force to be reckoned with. 

Which seemed so far away now as I stood at the door of the dressing room behind the stage, looking to my left to see Nikolai sitting against the wall on the floor, his knees pulled to his chest by his arms that clung tightly around them, his head hidden behind his arms. He wasn’t make a sound, he was just sitting there. Unmoving. Defeated. 

I took a few cautious steps towards him, unsure if I should disturb him. Nikolai didn’t strike me as the kind of person who would want to be alone, at any point, let alone when he was… sad? Angry? Frustrated? I had no way of knowing. 

He must have heard the floor creak under my steps because he perked up slightly when I entered the dressing room. His face was still hidden, but I could tell he was aware I was there. Waiting for me to speak. Waiting for me to leave. Just… waiting for something to happen. 

“Hey.” I said softly. He didn’t respond to me and stayed where he was. My heart broke to see him like this. Unstable. I hated that I couldn’t read him. I always knew that he was hiding something behind the walls and walls of alcohol, but I never could have anticipated something like this. Maybe he was just having withdrawals? Who’s to say he’s even unstable right now? I just honestly have no idea. I’ve never seen him sober once in all my time here. 

Until today.

I took a few more unsure steps towards him until I was standing in front of him. He was tucked into the corner in the back next to the pillar where a small glowing rock was. Nikolai was by no means a small person, he was much larger than me and stood around 3 inches taller than me, but as I stood there looking down at him, he’s never looked so small. 

Taking a risk, I pulled the ammo belt I kept slung over my shoulder off and slid down next to him, about a foot away, giving him some room to breathe. He pulled into himself tighter and shifted away from me slightly. The movement was so small that I almost missed it. I felt a tug of pity in my chest as I watched him. I decided to say nothing for the time and opted to just sit there next to him. I rested the back of my head against the wall and took a deep breath, raising my gaze up to the ceiling, watching the setting sun's rays shine brightly through a hole in the roof, illuminating the otherwise pitch black room with a faint orange glow. 

I lost track of how long we’d been sitting there saying nothing. Time seemed to blur. I was lost in my own thoughts when Nikolai finally stirred next to me. 

“What do you want?” he deadpanned. His voice was rough and strange to my ears without the slurring of his words and the lack of joy in his tone. I suppressed a wince. 

At least he was reaching out. 

“I wanted to see how you’re doing.” I simply reply. 

He raised his head slowly and gave me an unreadable expression. He had dark circles under his eyes and a deep frown on his face. He watched me for a moment as if trying to read me, then he turned his head away and rested his chin on his arm, staring straight ahead. 

“Why?” 

His question caught me off guard for a moment. I blinked at him a few times as I considered what he’d asked. He wasn’t asking me why I was asking how he was doing, he was really asking me why I cared. Why I have a shit about him. 

I sighed slowly, “Because you’re my friend and I care about if you’re okay. I know that you have a complicated relationship with alcohol, but-”

He huffed as I said that, cutting me off, “Complicated relationship with alcohol. Is one way to put it.” 

“Can I ask? Why do you drink so much? Is it because we’re stuck here and you’re trying to make the best of it, or…” 

Nikolai’s gaze darkened, “I do not want to talk about it.” 

“Do you want me to go?”

I’m met with silence. I frown slightly and take that as a cue to leave. I started to get to my feet before I felt a hand grab my arm to keep me in place.

“Stay.” His blue eyes were wild as he stared at me with a faint glint of desperation.

My heart skipped a beat when I met his gaze. His gloved hand was clinging to the fabric of my sleeve. I looked down at it in dumbfounded confusion, meeting his gaze again with my own. 

Nikolai seemed to notice what he was doing and immediately retracted himself, letting go of my arm and looking away from me, his cheeks slightly red with embarrassment. 

“If that is what you want.” He coughed out awkwardly. 

I smiled slowly and chuckled, turning around and dropped down next to him again, this time a little closer. He returned my smile even though it didn’t reach his eyes. 

We sat there for a few moments more. There wasn’t much I could do without him wanting to talk about anything, but I was okay with just sitting here and being there for him. He seemed to relax in my presence which made me feel really good, though I wasn’t sure why. I suppose it’s always reassuring to know that you’re helping a friend when they need-

I was instantly ripped out of my thoughts when Nikolai scooted to the right and closed the distance between us and wrapped his arm hesitantly around me. My heart started pounding a mile a minute and I wanted to say something but my breath was caught in my throat. I looked at him with my eyes wide with surprise and confusion but he was intentionally avoiding my gaze. His face was stoic and betrayed nothing but his breath was slightly elevated, as if he was anticipating me to push him away. 

I paused with my thoughts racing for a long period of time before my emotions seemed to think for my brain. My body gained a mind of its own as I leaned into him and wrapped my arm around him too, resting it against his waist. I wanted to put my head on his shoulder but I thought that might be too far.

Nikolai let out the breath he seemed to be holding and relaxed his tense muscles. His hand absentmindedly rubbed back and forth against my shoulders as we just sat there holding each other, not saying a word. 

I couldn’t describe the emotions going on inside of me, but they were definitely not the kind of emotions you feel when a friend hugs you. 

I couldn’t put into words just how right it felt to be sitting here beside him. How there was no other place i’d rather be. 

I threw caution to the wind and leaned my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes, my rushing mind calming almost instantly. He pressed his face against the top of my head softly in response, and I could feel the smile on his lips. 

I didn’t come to him expecting something so intimate to happen, but if this is what he needs to feel better… then that’s okay with me. Let’s be honest, a lot more than okay. I was enjoying this a lot more than I should. 

I did care about him a lot. Loved him as a friend, even. It honestly made since that this would be the natural progression of our relationship. 

God Dempsey was going to tease me relentlessly when he found out. He’d been poking me and asking insistently when I was just gonna get over it and make out with him already, that everyone else in the group was saying the same thing. That didn’t surprise me, Nikolai and I were basically glued to the hip and constantly had an arm around each other, and when we drank together we both would yell and sing together and bother everyone else with our overly affectionate friendship. We had absolutely no filter around each other and would announce the things we liked and didn’t like about the other without a second thought. 

But there was something definitely different about this hug. This affection. This was a confession. I could feel it in the way he held me. I couldn’t believe it took me this long to figure it out. I was always pretty emotionally stupid when it came to things like this, so what did I expect. I wonder how long he’s felt this way about me and been keeping it a secret. Maybe he just realized like I did. Who knows. 

All I could think about was how warm he was. 

“Thank you.” He whispered softly against me. 

I just smiled in response. Maybe everything was gonna be okay after all. 


	2. Catwalk blues

I opened my mouth and yelled out words for a song I didn’t know when I felt a hand around my waist and a bottle being shoved into my hand sloppily. I didn’t even need to open my eyes to know that all of my companions around me were wincing and chuckling to themselves at the sounds that me and Nikolai were making. I had absolutely zero singing ability, and as much as I loved the guy, Nikolai didn’t either. But it didn’t matter! Nikolai was drunk and I was tipsy and we were having fun. This was the caged area at the end of the catwalk not the American idol stage. 

Definitely weird being from the future hanging out with a bunch of men from the 40s fighting waves of the undead, but there was a seemingly endless supply of alcohol and weapons, so I couldn’t complain much. 

Nikolai pulled me tighter against his side while belting out a particularly high note. I felt my heart flutter in my chest at the frankly horrifying sound that came out of the man.

Nope. Can't complain much at all. 

It was Dempsey who interrupted our impromptu musical number first, “Listen, I’m all about this celebrating in the middle of the apocalypse crap you two have got going on, but can we at least get you guys some singing lessons first? My poor ears can’t take much more of this.”

Nikolai took his bottle of vodka back from my grasp and pointed it at Dempsey, “You are just jealous, you ridiculous American. You do not know how to have fun.”

I gave him a fake annoyed glance. 

“Not you, лапушечка.” 

I hadn’t the slightest idea what he’d just called me, but for his sake it better have been a compliment. 

I joined in, “Yeah, Tank. You gatta lighten up if you’re gonna make it out of _Der Riese_!” I motioned to all around me when I said the name. I smiled over at Richtofen who was sitting on top of the wooden planks where the mystery box would be if it were here, “Did I say it right, Doc?” Alcohol made me a smartass. 

He gave me a condescending smile and crossed his arms, “Perfect pronunciation as always, einzeller.” 

I threw my arms up in defiance, “You guys better start insulting me in English or we’re gonna have some problems here!”

Dempsey motioned to me with wide eyes, “Thank you! Finally someone said it!” 

Richtofen scoffed and turned his attention to Dempsey, “What’s the matter, Dempsey? Sad because your tiny brain can only comprehend one language unlike the rest of us much more intelligent people?” 

Dempsey began to get up angrily, “Why you little-“

“Sit your ass back down, Dempsey. I am not dragging your ass out of a locked teleporter again!” I snapped light heartedly.

Dempsey grumbled to himself and plopped to the ground with his arms crossed.

Nikolai waved his hand dismissively, “Eh, speaking two languages is overrated. I would much rather not understand a word any of you say. Make Nikolai’s life much easier.” 

I laughed next to him and he placed a hand on my back and rubbed up and down a few times. It made him really happy when I laughed at his jokes. I just wish him touching me affectionately like that didn’t completely fry my brain otherwise I could have said something witty in response. Stupid Russian. 

Nikolai and I weren’t together, we were just friends, but that didn’t stop me from having a massive crush on him. He made me laugh, what can I say? I doubted he felt the same back, but it was alright. We have fun. 

“Hey you four! I am tired of leading hell pig around. Someone else do it!” A voice called from underneath the catwalk. I peeped over the platform and saw Takeo standing under us with a crawler dragged itself towards him angrily. I looked back to the others who were gathering themselves. Looks like the party was over. 

“I’ll take the next shift, Tak! Get some rest bud.” Dempsey called to him. 

Takeo nodded and slung his gun over his shoulder, heading out of the building to get a few hours of sleep before morning when the next wave of zombies would attack again. I huffed a little in annoyance at my situation. I missed my family. 

Nikolai glanced at me and seemed to notice my sudden sour mood and turned to Richtofen, “German, could you check labs to see if box is there? Nikolai needs random box before morning.” 

Richtofen nodded and got to his feet, “Sure thing, Russian. I need to look over some research in the labs anyway. Auf Wiedersehen.” 

He followed Dempsey down the stairs who lead the crawler out of the area and suddenly Nikolai and I were alone. I got a little nervous for some reason. 

Nikolai scooted back and leaned against the box stand and crossed his arms after he faced me. 

I looked at him for a few seconds before laughing nervously, “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

He simply raised an eyebrow and smiled slightly, “Nikolai has eyes like hawk. Tell me what is upsetting you.” 

I grew a little uncomfortable at his attention and drew my legs in and wrapped my arms around them, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He nudged me with his boot in the side and I choked out a gasp in surprise, “Ew! Don’t poke me with your nasty ass boot!” 

He chuckled and nudged me again. I slapped his foot away but he was persistent. He leaned forward and started jabbing my side with his gloved hand. I'm not ticklish but I started laughing hysterically anyway. He chanted “come now. Tell me. Tell Nikolai issue.” Over and over. 

I put up a good defense but eventually caved, “Okay! I surrender! I’ll tell you. Happy?”

He leaned back to his original position with a shit eating grin on his face, “Very.” 

I instantly thought about how I wanted to kiss that look off his face but suppressed the urge with impressive speed if I do say so myself. 

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, “I was just thinking about my family. I miss them.”

Nikolai’s smirk fell from his face then and he sat up straighter, “Yes, I understand this. Nikolai misses family too. Would you like to talk about them?” 

I shook my head, “No, thank you, I don’t really need to vent about it, just thinking’ is all, you know?”

“I do not understand ‘vent’”

“Oh it’s like, talking something that’s bothering you out, getting your feelings out there.”

“Ah, well, you are always welcome to vent to Nikolai if need be, yes?” He gave me such a genuine look that I could have cried on the spot. 

I gave him a genuine smile and nodded, “Yeah, I know, and you can too. Do you wanna talk about your family?” 

Nikolai seemed to double take for a second like he wasn’t expecting me to ask, but he quickly shook his head, “Nyet, I am same as you. Just thinking, but… thank you for asking.” He seemed a little sad when he said that last part. 

I blinked at him and asked, “What is it? You don’t think I wouldn’t also listen to you talk about stuff you also care about? ‘Course I would. You’re my friend.” 

He smiled at me, seeming to perk up at my words. He threw his arms out and reached for me, “Come here. There is still vodka left.”

I felt an embarrassingly wide smile form on my face without my permission as I got up and scooted over to his side. He wrapped an arm around me and offered me a sip of his vodka. I took the bottle from his hand and tipped the bottle back, letting the burning liquid fall into my mouth. I honestly didn’t even really like alcohol much, but I did like drinking with Nikolai. He made everything fun, honestly. 

I coughed when some of the vodka tried to go down the wrong pipe and he roughly patted my back and laughed, “That is it! You got it!” 

I chuckled and handed the bottle back to him. He took it and took a long swig right from the bottle with no hesitation where my mouth had just been. I stared at him while he did it like he’d just invented electricity. Lord help me. 

I snuggled closer to him and closed my eyes, letting his warmth comfort me. It was freezing after all and the jacket I was wearing was doing a crappy job. 

I couldn’t see but he smiled warmly down at me with lidded eyes. He leaned down slightly and pressed a soft kiss against the top of my head and somehow managed to pull me closer to him. 

I all but died on the spot but if anyone asks I was extremely cool about falling in love with that stupid Russian that night, got it? I’m serious Dempsey would never let me hear the end of it. 

  
  



End file.
